I had a recent experience getting into a new hobby and trying to get involved with a discord community with strangers was terrifying. It was a humbling and useful lesson in what it’s like to be the new guy.
Things that helped included online events where I could be involved with things but it didn’t put me center stage so to speak. Where I could lurk but still feel involved and for example ask a question in a live class via text chat.
Another thing that helped was the Discord equivalent of speed dating, you got to chat to someone for 5 minutes 1 on 1 and then off to the next person. That was a lot less intimidating talking to new people than jumping into a group chat with strangers.
So structured events designed to help new people get introduced to a community definitely work :).
It depends on the size of the community and type of community but there are generally many overlapping circles of friends in any one community.
In terms of how best to break in, then definitely respect and patience is key. When I join a new community, I lurk for a few days to figure out the pace and style of interaction before adding to the conversation.
Most of the time, this allows me to be accepted in to where I can then expose the rest of my personality and make them regret allowing it.